I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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