OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
