Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
