Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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