I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize