Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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