I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
