Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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