too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
