Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
