we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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