I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
