Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
