think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
