I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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