well I can't set my house on fire every night
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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