Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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