I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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