Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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