I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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