then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize