Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
