She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
