talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
