Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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