I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
