mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
