Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
