Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
