Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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