Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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