I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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