super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
