Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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