And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
