I need help removing her.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
