Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
