haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Mom said you looked used
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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