Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
