he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am spending my child support on dildos
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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