Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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