Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
