I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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