this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
