Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
