we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
