sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
