i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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