I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
