i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i barfeds in our rink
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
