after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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