You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
