He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We smell like vodka and hangover
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