Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
