maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
