Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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