why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
