And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How's work?
Spinning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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